Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Things I'll miss and not so miss

I jotted down some things while sitting at a stop light, which around here, there's plenty of time to do while at a stop light.

Things I'll miss about the US:

1. Drink American beer cheaply. Byebye Leine's, Sam Adams, MGD, delicious Coors Light
2. Listen to country music
3. Shop at Target
4. Wear flip-flops (so I hear anyway)
5. ok, that's as far as I got. I'll add as I go....

Things I'll miss about The South/Augusta:

1. Food Lion pop- including Peach and Dr. Perky (the name makes me giggle)
2. The mild winter weather
3. Southern foods at the grocery store- collard greens, copious amounts of biscuit mixes, chitlins, grits... not that I actually eat these things...
4. Hipsters (they're everywhere! Actually, I just like them to make fun of them.)
5. Cars with rims
6. Comically large tubs of Crisco with pictures of fried chicken on the side
7. Charleston and Savannah

Things I won't miss about The South/Augusta:

1. Rude people (where's that Southern hospitality I hear about?!)
2. Augusta traffic and dumb traffic lights
3. No recycling program and excessive use of plastic bags (they bag the milk jug at every store I shop at!)
4. Crappy radio stations (ok, I get it, you all like rap, but more than 2 stations seems excessive)
5. Poorly insulated homes
6. D-bag hipsters who drink Pabst. (We get it, but really, you're not a 65 year old man... do you really like it or do you drink it because it's cool to be not cool... you choke down your old man skunk beer, I'll order a Coors Light) (Which that in itself is ironic, considering the delicious wateriness of tapping the rockies.)
7. No one drinks Coors Light (so does that make me a hipster?)
8. Title pawns, cash stores, and no/poor credit used car lots on every corner. Also goes hand in hand with strip joints and tattoo parlors.

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