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Monday, June 8, 2009

Reservations

So I mentioned in one of my last posts that I would go into more detail in to the whole changing my return ticket. So I have some options.

- Since my Visa lasts one year, I can extend my stay for up to one year. From what I've been told, it'll be 6 months of hard work, and then after that things wind down on the farms, and there's vacation time because all the cows are dry, since they seasonally calve in New Zealand. My contact person, Job, said that 80% of people stay the entire year and use the second half of the trip to travel. NZ has some pretty good hostels, much like in Europe.

- However... I've also told Craig that I don't think I could do it. I told him I didn't want to go. I miss him. I hate flying. I'm scared and full of lots of anxiety about the whole traveling part. He told me not to waste the ticket, get there, see how it goes, and I can always come back whenever I want. Yeah ok, it's not that I'm scared to be there, I'm scared to actually get there.

- I also learned that after mid-August, Craig can live out of the barracks if I'm there to live with him. Hmmmm, that changes things a bit. He's going to be there until at least December. I guess I planned my NZ trip with the assumption that I wouldn't really see him until Dec/Jan anyway. Am I really one of those women that's going to throw it away for a man?! Ugh, what am I turning into?

So that's where I'm at with the whole thing. Let me go into the flying thing. I've proabaly taken six trips on a plane in my life. It was only the last one where I had huge issues. I think it might have been better if I was traveling with someone I knew. Also, I've been having alot of anxeity lately. Is it because of the whole trip looming in the future? Is it because of a major lifestyle changes in the past four month? Is it mourning the loss of my Grandpa? I hope that it's not a "gut feeling" that something bad is going to happen. People fly everyday. Get over it. I wish I could...

Any comments/reassurances would be appreciated.

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